husband absenceLove and expat marriage: Finding identity The first year, I felt like I was stranded on a deserted island with my husband, and I don’t mean in a romantic movie kind of way.Living far away from home, it’s natural to turn to each other to fulfill a variety of needs. It’s also easy to underestimate how long it takes to make friends and feel comfortable. In our case, we felt limited by Japanese cultural and language barriers for some time, which restricted our social outlets. As a result, we spent too much time in our own insulated cocoon. [ নিউজটি বাংলায় পড়ুন ভিডিও সহ : প্রবাসির বউরা স্বামী দেশে না থাকায় যা করে দেখুন ভিডিওতে! ]
But my husband had the simple advantage of going to a job everyday, offering him benefits I didn’t share. His days had structure, he made friends at work, and he maintained his professional identity.
In my case, I was financially, socially, and emotionally reliant on him.
This dependence was surprising given that I had lived abroad before. I was certainly no stranger to culture shock and lifestyle differences. I had expected them, but I hadn’t considered the difficulty of adjusting to a new country as an “accessory” without my own purpose for living there.
Tips for surviving the first year as a trailing spouse:
1.Be realistic about how long it takes to feel comfortable in a foreign country. Don’t take things too seriously for at least 6 months.
2.Learn the local transportation system as soon as possible so that you’re not stuck at home alone while your spouse is working.
3. Join an expat women’s (or men’s) group to meet others with shared experiences
4. Join a local women’s group to make friends with area insiders.
5. If you’re not working, incorporate structure into your day through exercise, hobbies, or volunteering.
6. Be prepared for working for less pay at a lower skill level.
7. Develop other interests you’ve always wanted to pursue.
8. Understand that your spouse is adjusting to a new work environment and faces unique pressures.